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Overcoming barriers to success in your professional and in personal life.
Marie’s Coffee Shop
Marie had a lifelong ambition to be a business owner. She quit her job as a teacher to manifest her dream of owning a high-street coffee shop.
Marie wanted the shop to be unique, reflecting her personality. Marie’s long-term vision, was to export specialist coffee internationally from her shop. So she designed the décor in her shop to display an international theme.
Marie’s investments in time, money, and effort were extremely high. The buzz of seeing her coffee shop open was one of the proudest and happiest moments of her life.
By the end of the first year, her sales were far below what she had forecasted. Marie’s excitement was replaced with disappointment, anxiety and concern. She was not making enough money to pay herself and was scraping through trying to pay the bills. Marie was left wondering what to do next.
Have You Been There?
I am sure you have been in Marie’s position when your dreams hadn’t come true at some time or another. I’ve been in that position, more than once.
You may have started a project, business or relationship, where everything went pear-shaped. Disappointment and heartbreak are difficult to accept and deal with when your dreams are dashed. It hurts.
It is important to remember that how we view disappointments will change the course of the outcome.
When we look at our unsuccessful projects or relationships as failures, it distorts our reality. It paralyses us, preventing us from progressing.
Seeing our difficulties as failures is a twisted view. This view can prevent us from seeing the truth of the situation, rendering us unable to see the solutions.
With the right attitude and a clear focus, solving the problem and moving forward is possible.
Setbacks
A setback doesn’t have to be the end of your dreams.
Look at it this way, a setback might be precisely what you need to get where you want to be. A setback may be a blessing in disguise!!
I have also experienced a lifetime of setbacks. Here are a few points that I have learnt in managing setbacks.
1. Expect Setbacks.
If you let them, setbacks push you to try something better. Setbacks will happen?—?that’s life! So expect, accept, and prepare for them so you can make them more productive when they come.
2. My Two Day Rule
Allow yourself time to acknowledge your feelings of disappointment.
It’s wise to limit how long you will allow yourself to focus on that feeling. I have a two-day limit. And day three is resurrection day!
Day three is when I rise from the doldrums to have another go. If I don’t do this, my feelings of disappointment may turn into depression. When depression takes hold of me, I am paralysed in mind and body. So, I don’t give depression a foot hold by sticking to my three day rule.
I don’t allow myself more than a few days to get my head straight. I might still feel disappointed; that is normal. But then I ensure that I don’t wallow but redirect that emotional energy toward progress.
Ask yourself, ‘Now what?’ get excited and start brain-pumping innovative ideas once again.
The two-day rule helps to get me back on track. Why don’t you give it a try? It may work for you!
3. Manage Your Weakness
Everyone has weaknesses. None of us has got it all together or has all the answers. The most successful of those among us have weaknesses. Understand what your weaknesses are.
Be careful of your reactions because an incident of failure may cause you to lose perspective. If you know what your weakness are and anticipate what may cause you upset. You will be better prepared and less likely to give up.
4. Be Objective
Accurately assess the situation, determine what occurred and what you need to do to remedy it. Objectively size up what happened. Was there an event or decision that created a problem?
Note down what worked and what didn’t. Write down what factors created the setback. Was there enough interest? Was there enough funding? Were there enough resources? Seeing the facts on paper will solidify where you are and help you to find a solution.
5. Be Strong.
Successful people don’t navel gaze or get over-emotional. Successful people always find a way around or through problems.
Successful people see failures as opportunities. They see roadblocks as learning curves.
Write down your options and assess each in light of the requirements. Don’t feed the ‘pity me’ monster.
6. Be Aware of Overwhelm.
Changing direction and making new decisions can be overwhelming.
Problem arise when decision making overwhelms us. Overwhelm can cause a mental block, slowing our productivity. To help you to make big decisions more manageable, be mindful- live in the moment. (see my other posts on mindfulness)
Take a break and examine the problem objectively. This way, you will see the answer more quickly without feeling swamped or stressed.
Mindfully and prayerfully ascertain what can be done right now. Then plan for tomorrow and next week to move you forward. Plan for success and remember to take things slowly.
7. Be a Learner
I consider myself to be a lifelong student. Once I earn a qualification, I enrol to earn another. As a matter of course, I read self-help books and blogs and listen to free audiobooks on YouTube. I am presently studying for a Diploma in health and wellness to further qualify me to teach women about wellness.
Also, don’t reinvent the wheel if you don’t have to. Research successful people and learn from them. Successful people who have integrity will gladly share their difficulties and failures. Learning from the failings and setbacks of others is invaluable to your learning.
Someone once said,’ If you never made a mistake, you’ve never made anything; turn your lemons into lemonade.’ These are wise words indeed.
Learning from others helps us recognise the pitfalls so we can avoid them. So let’s learn the lessons we need to, so we can successfully manifest our dreams.
Many new entrepreneurs say they knew nothing about how to manage a successful business when they started out. Yet they found success because they were willing to learn new strategies and implement them.
They were willing to apply themselves to work hard while willing to risk failures. Successful people are always ready to face challenges head-on and learn how to problem-solve.
8. Be Positive.
Setbacks may create self-doubt. You will never hear successful people say, ‘I can’t.’ You always hear them say,’ I can and will.’ Manage your thought life.
Stay focused on what you can do next. Celebrate each time you move forward, even a little.
Remember, a setback is a setup for a comeback!!
Thank you for reading to the end. For more Tips, visit, Your Wellness Matters. www.paularoseparish.com. We collect Donations for Welsh Women’s Aid to donate click Here
I have worked internationally with over 40 years of experience, having a Bachelor of Pastoral Counselling and Theology and a Master of Arts in Counselling & Professional Development. BACP Life Coaching Certificate. I currently work as a Christian educator, blogger, author, and grandmother living with my two dogs in Wales, UK.
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You’ll find my book’s on Amazon.com, and If you wish to connect with me, please do so on paularoseparish@gmail.com
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?Nothing Good about Grief: Path to Recovery with Psalm 23 after COVID-19 & other losses.
?Psalm 23 Unwrapped: Hope in Difficult Times.
